Choices Have Consequences

In this life, we have agency which is the ability to choose for ourselves -- what to think and believe, how to act, and what to become.  I love that we have freedom to make our own choices.

Choices have consequences.  In fact, there is no choice we can make that comes without consequences, intentional or unintentional.  Sometimes the consequences are pleasant; other times they are not.  Wisdom teaches us to carefully consider the choices we make and the consequences that might follow.  If we don't like the possible outcomes, maybe we should reconsider the choice. 

Most likely, we will all experience times in our lives where we make choices that lead to consequences we did not foresee and do not enjoy.  We can take responsibility for these choices or we can choose to be victims. Taking responsibility means we "suck it up," "face the music," or "pay the piper" learning how to move forward as best we can.  Choosing to be a victim happens when we refuse to take responsibility for the choices that led to the consequences.  Instead, we blame other people or situations for the circumstances.  Again, our choice.

When we take responsibility, we let go of the hurt and pain allowing us to grow in courage, strength, wisdom, and knowledge.  We overcome our circumstances and become more aware of possible consequences which help us make better choices.  We desire to share our learning to help others avoid the pitfalls we have experienced.  We become more loving and understanding.

In contrast, when we become a victim, we hurt so deeply that we want others to hurt also.  Not only do we want them to feel our pain, we want them to experience their own pain as well.  We fear, blame, condemn, and seek out injustice.  We want revenge!  We become hardened by our experiences and stop caring, trying and learning.  We become hopeless that things will ever change unless we force them.  We refuse to budge from our current understanding.  Though at times we might be victimized, we can refuse to become a victim.

From reading the news, it appears that many people today want to make their own choices without any consequences.  They don't want to be responsible for their own actions, and yet they want everyone else to be held accountable for everything that happens.

Everyone has the right and responsibility to choose for themselves.  No one else can choose for them.  No one else can choose for me.  I choose for myself and will accept the consequences.

Elections

As we progress through yet another political season, it is sometimes difficult to watch or listen to the drama unfold in the media.  There are more than enough mantras, blurbs, soundbites, put-downs, commentary and propaganda repeatedly advertising bad behavior and bully tactics which are then excused by faithful followers. Unfortunately, the truth is often twisted and those being blamed are occasionally the victims rather than the perpetrators.  Quite honestly, it turns my stomach.

Each election is a new reminder of experiences our family had several years ago being on the inside of political campaigns.  Most of the voting public seem to be totally unaware of, and would be appalled to learn, what really goes on behind the scenes…the tactics, compromises, threats and back-room deals.  When you are “up close and personal,” you learn to recognize the written and unwritten “rules” as well as the puppets and puppeteers.

For many political insiders, truth becomes irrelevant as loyal supporters line up behind candidates who are well-versed in the culture of lies and “who can win.”  While there are those who stand for truth and freedom, their messages are drowned out by groups and individuals who would rather keep honest people from being able to discern what is real.

It seems pretty clear to me that unaware voters are being played like instruments in an orchestra, and when things don’t go as the “planners” have planned, there will be consequences for some to pay, maybe loss of a job or threats to family or livelihood.  Most decent people would never want to put their families through the fire of a political campaign.  Hence, our choices are very limited when it comes to elections.

But the real battle in politics is not between Republicans and Democrats.  Nor are religious battles between Christians, Muslims and Jews.  The real battles are between right and wrong.  Good and evil use similar processes, but good is based on freedom of choice and evil is based on force or coercion.  Force stifles desire, while freedom encourages creativity, accomplishment and abundance.

The fight for freedom takes place daily in our own communities.  Instead of complaining, become involved.  Share your talents.  Give a little of your time.  Get in the game, meet the players, and learn the truth for yourself.  You might learn a few things.  Being in the eye of the public teaches many lessons to those who are willing to learn:  the importance of honesty, integrity, respect, friendship, service, love, obedience and loyalty to good principles, trust, sacrifice, gratitude, honor, discernment, perseverance, and courage in the face of affliction.

Everyone has something to give, an idea, talent or resource of some sort.  When we bear one another’s burdens, we share what we have with those who don’t have – whatever it might be – food, clothing, shelter, financial means, knowledge, and love.  Unmet needs lead to social, mental, emotional, and physical problems due to lack of hope.  Providing hope for the downtrodden helps them conquer life’s challenges, and provides happiness for those giving.  It is easy to see how the world would be a better place if more people enjoyed doing good, rather than being so concerned about their own personal gain.  Life isn’t about what we own or control, but what we give. 

With each election, we are choosing the direction for our country’s future and whether or not we will remain a free people.  Corruption is rampant, so it is extremely important to be thoughtful in choosing a candidate to support. We need someone who doesn’t just listen to the will of the people, but acts on it, even if they sometimes disagree with our personal philosophy.  We need to stop making our political choices out of fear, for choices made in fear are often shortsighted.  We don’t want leaders who say only what they think we want to hear to get elected.  Truthfully, if we keep making similar choices, we will continue getting similar results.

DREAM

Follow your dream

wherever it leads,

don't be distracted

by less worthy needs

Shelter it, nourish it,

help it to grow -

Let your heart hold it

down deep where dreams go.

Follow your dream

pursue it with haste;

Life is too precious,

too fleeting to waste ...

Be faithful, be loyal,

then all your life through

the dreams that you follow

will keep coming true

~ Larry Chengges ~

Moving On

The hardest part of leaving a place and moving on is missing the people who you’ve met and loved.

Recently, my daughter received a letter from one of her friends at school.  It was a beautiful letter full of compliments.  As a mother, it was touching to see how my child had impacted the life of another.  In the middle of the letter, her friend said something like, “There are no goodbyes, only see you laters.”

I love that!  No goodbyes!  Goodbyes are so…final.  End of story.  No more to come.

Yet life goes on, just differently.  Who knows when paths will cross again?  They often do.

I believe this is the same with death.  Death is just someone moving on to a new place.  Life goes on, just differently.  One day, we will all see how it works.  One day, we will all rejoice as we see each other again!

Here is a poem I love:

Death Is Nothing At All

by Henry Scott Holland

(1847-1918)

Death is nothing at all.

It does not count.

I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.

I am I, and you are you,

and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.

Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.

Put no difference into your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.

Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.

There is absolute and unbroken continuity.

What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you, for an interval,

somewhere very near,

just round the corner.

All is well.

Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.

One brief moment and all will be as it was before.

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

I used to fear losing people to death or a move.  Now, I look forward to the day we are reunited.  The possibility of meeting again gives me tremendous hope.  Those reunions are gonna be great!

I am a Duck!

We have lived many places. Each place has good and bad...things to enjoy and things to detest. Wherever we are, we have numerous experiences and meet many people.

It is important to retain the good and leave the rest behind (though easier said than done). Life is too short to hold onto difficult experiences...nonetheless, forgetting completely may be out of the question.

Growing up in Utah, I learned all I ever really needed to know for a happy life. To name a few...be honest, be kind, be helpful, be prayerful, families are forever, there is life after school, learning doesn't end when school ends. I cultivated a love for beautiful mountains, which always give me a feeling of peace.

In Kansas, I observed simple pleasures - cicadas, fireflies, gardens, sunsets.  The lesson...Life gets too busy, so slow down, Enjoy simple things, and remember what is most important in life.  Honestly, before moving to Kansas, I wasn't fond of sunflowers, the Kansas state flower.  Now, I love sunflowers! Sunflowers are cool, and they follow the sun.

New Jersey, Fuhgeddaboutit! The quick pace of life sometimes left me feeling overwhelmed. I began to realize that you don't know what you don't know. The biggest lesson of all was "things are not always as they seem" so look deeper. Living near the coast, I developed a love for the ocean and its power and majesty.

Oregonians enjoy nature. Even the university mascots are from nature - University of Oregon Ducks and Oregon State Beavers. During rivalry games, we've never taken sides to support either school. Instead of a duck or beaver, we were more like a platypus (a little of both). Now, I cheerfully declare "I am a duck!" Why? Because I have learned to remain calm on the surface when paddling like crazy underneath. The key to progress is persistence and consistency.

Oregon has left an indelible mark.

People Who are Loving

I love people who are loving!  You know the ones...

They call just to see how you are doing.

They reach out with a hug or a compliment at just the right moment.

They know just how you are feeling without you saying a word.

They will do anything for you on the spur of the moment.

They don't insist on advance notice before you go to see them.

They don't wait for an invitation to stop by and check on you.

They somehow know exactly what you need and precisely when you need it.

They are always concerned for your welfare, even when they have stresses of their own.

They seem to have all the time in the world to talk with you, and yet they are some of the busiest people you know.

Remember the old AT&T commercials:  "Reach Out and Touch Someone".  They reminded us to make a difference in another person's life.

I feel very fortunate to have had many loving people in my life; some of them for only a short time, others for most of my life.  They have a huge impact.  They ease your burdens.  They lift your spirits.  They comfort your soul.

When you have loving people in your life, the world is a wonderful place. Truly, loving people are angels on earth!

Make a Difference

Most of us feel fortunate not to be in the public eye.  Why?  Have you read the "news" lately?  Most of it is negative and burdensome.  No wonder there are so many people suffering from depression... So much negativity and too many critics!

It seems that anything goes when it comes to "a story."  Much of the media twist events in a negative way to spark our emotions.  We buy it and react!  It seems society used to try and avoid the gossip, except for tabloid journalism.  Now, the biggest part of mainstream news seems to be tabloid material.

Quite honestly, I find it disgusting.  There are terrible things happening and we should be aware of them.  But why focus on the negative?  

The law of attraction states that like attracts like.  When we focus on negative things, it takes over our thoughts.  Negative attracts negative and creates more of it.  Likewise, positive attracts positive...and multiplies!

The following quote helps me put things into context.  It gives credit to those who work to make a difference; and it provides me hope and courage as I strive to do the same.

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled and fell, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena: whose face is marred by dust, sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again…who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause; and at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."  Teddy Roosevelt, The Man in the Arena

Another favorite quote comes to mind.  (Like attracts like...☺️)

"What I am suggesting is that each of us turn from the negativism that so permeates our society and look for the remarkable good among those with whom we associate, that we speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another’s faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears. When I was a young man and was prone to speak critically, my father would say:  'Cynics do not contribute, skeptics do not create, doubters do not achieve.'"  Gordon B. Hinkley, The Continuing Pursuit of Truth

So forget about the critics.  There will always be critics.  Do something worthwhile.  Don't be distracted from worthy causes.  Make a difference!  We can change the world by accentuating the positive.

And remember:  "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about."  Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray